Casual Wednesday Kindness
Have you ever had someone thank you for a gesture you made that meant a great deal to them… but for you it was just a casual Wednesday? Let me tell you a few stories…
Recently a couple of friends invited me to go to the movies with them and their adult nephew. We’ll call him James. As we headed to the truck to go home after the movie, I noticed James lingering near the back of the truck as I was getting in. I thought this behavior odd, and wondered why he didn’t just get in. The moment I was seated in the truck, I turned to close the door and there he was… waiting to close it behind me.
As the truck door closed, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude filled my body, and I had to focus not to let tears fill my eyes. James couldn’t have known that I couldn’t remember the last time I had had a man do that for me. Such a simple kindness; some may even call it old-fashioned, but it had a lasting effect on me. Even relaying the experience later that night to a friend over the phone brought tears to my eyes. (Definitely not tearing up writing this… you shush.)
Another experience I had was last christmas. I attended a family party and enjoyed visiting with aunts, uncles and cousins. Over the course of the night, one of my aunts came over to talk with me. After we caught up a little, she put her hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes… and with the utmost sincerity told me that I was a beautiful person. There was so much love in her eyes and her voice that as she walked away, I had a difficult time not letting the emotions building up in me leak out of my eyes. That moment stayed with me all night in the back of my mind, and never fails to bring tears to my eyes when I think back on it.
Then there was that one year, on my birthday... Earlier that year I had met a man, and we became fast friends. We’ll call him Eric. The day of my birthday, I got a knock on the door of my apartment. I opened it to find a man standing there holding the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. He asked if my name was Rebecca… and after I said yes, he broke out into a very decent rendition of “Happy Birthday to you”. They were from Eric. Little did he know, but that was the first time a man(not family) had ever given me flowers. I bawled. I guess crying is an underlying theme here…
These experiences are only a few examples of the many moments in which those around me, family, friend or stranger alike have made me feel noticed. Now, don’t get me wrong… I have plenty of stories where people were unkind, even cruel. (again, family, friend or stranger) But, I try not to give those a home in my head.
I remember Brene Brown sharing that you should never look for evidence in this world that you don’t belong, because you will always find it. But, consequently… if you look for evidence that you DO belong in this world… you too will find it.
If ever you are feeling down, lonely, depressed, forgotten… remember the little things. Look for the little things that remind you that you belong. The small gestures, words, and interactions that made you feel noticed, seen, appreciated, heard, and loved. Casual Wednesday kindnesses…
It’s not only in the kindness of others that you can find belonging and comfort though… finding ways in which you can be that for someone else can help us remember we belong. We become the Jameses, aunties, and Erics to those around us. It seems so simple sometimes… like, how will it make a difference either way if I smile at the bank teller today? Casual Wednesday kindness, my friend. That’s the beauty of it. You don’t always get to know.
Look for the casual Wednesday moments… to give or that you’ve received.
You are wanted. You are needed.
Live life well, my friend.
- Coach Rebecca
